Ninety-Nine Aisles

When I’m with my TV
in it’s electronic glow
sometimes I get confused
can’t tell the ads from the show
they got loud guitars, they got wet T-shirts,
they got shiny white teeth
make me spend ‘till it hurts
I guess it’s all meant to make a better life for me
but I still get confused
alone with my TV.

H-O-T-L-O-V-E
is the number to dial for your social needs
they got black, blonde, red and gold
they’ll pick you up quick
they’ll never leave you on hold
from your comfortable bunker
for a very fat dime
you can call ‘em up and have a date
any old time.
(And there is virtually no risk of disease
which is why the boys in the band like it.)

Black leather jackets
were quite the fashion trip
spend a week’s pay
you too could be hip
Billy’s girl Stella
got hers on daddy’s credit card
the point of her purchase was to make Billy hard
when she strolled down the runway
with a sneer on her lips
she wrapped her black leather ‘round him
and Billy came all unzipped.

Some want fiber to the curb
some want fiber to the home
Wired Walter’s got a vision
he takes his fiber straight to the bone
his I-V spike spews a data stream
factoids collide in his fever dreams
he knows what to do, and he does what he should
he makes informed decisions
about consumer goods.

Wired Walter
He is one in-line, on-line consumer dude.

99 aisles and nothin’ I wanna buy, anywhere.